At 13, a young Jewish man becomes obligated to observe the commandments of Judaism. “Bar mitzvah” literally means “son of the commandments.” The celebration of a bar mitzvah signifies that the young man is beginning and will continue to function as an active and responsible Jew in the synagogue and in the wider Jewish community.

Following years of study, Braden will have the honor of leading services for our congregation. He will read from the Torah and read or chant several prayers as part of the Shabbat (Sabbath) morning service. Some parts of the service will be in Hebrew, but a lot will be in English, making it easy to follow along. This service marks Braden’s transition into the responsibilities of a Jewish adult, committing to following the commandments of the Torah.

Typically, non-Jews can participate by simply attending, observing, and following the service. If relatives or close friends are not Jewish, they are sometimes afforded non-ritual honors.

All guests and participants are expected to respect the sanctity of the prayer service and Shabbat by:

• Setting your cell phone or beeper to vibrate or turning it off.
• Not taking pictures. Many families hire photographers or videographers and would be pleased to take your order for a photo or video memento. In traditional settings, photography is strictly forbidden on Shabbat.
• Not smoking in the sanctuary, inside the building, or even on the synagogue grounds.
• Not writing.
• Not speaking during services. While you may see others around you chatting quietly–or even loudly–be aware that some synagogues consider this a breach of decorum.

Jewish worship services can be very athletic, filled with frequent directions to stand for particular prayers and sit for others. Take your cue from the other worshippers or the rabbi’s instructions. Unlike kneeling in a Catholic worship service–which is a unique prayer posture filled with religious significance–standing and sitting in a Jewish service does not constitute any affirmation of religious belief, it is merely a sign of respect. There may also be instructions to bow at certain parts of the service, and because a bow or prostration is a religiously significant act, feel free to remain standing or sitting as you wish at that point.

Try to follow the service in the siddur, or prayerbook, and the chumash, or Bible, both of which are usually printed in Hebrew and English. Guests and congregants are encouraged to hum along during congregational melodies and to participate in the service to the extent that they feel comfortable. If you lose the page, you may quietly ask a neighbor for help (although it is better not to interrupt someone in the middle of a prayer). During the Torah service, the entire congregation is encouraged to follow the reading of the weekly Torah portion in English or Hebrew.

Guests at a Bar Mitzvah celebration generally wear dressy clothes — for men, either a suit or slacks, tie, and jacket, and for women, a dress or formal pantsuit. If you have never been to Synagogue before, don’t worry. Wear some nice clothes, perhaps what you might wear to church or at a wedding.  No special garb is required that you cannot borrow at the synagogue.

• Prayer shawl: The tallit (tall-EET or TALL-is), or prayer shawl, is traditionally worn by Jewish males and, in liberal congregations, by Jewish women as well. Because the braided fringes at the four corners of the tallit remind its wearer to observe the commandments of Judaism, wearing a tallit is reserved for Jews. Although an usher may offer you a tallit at the door, you may decline it if you are not Jewish or are simply uncomfortable wearing such a garment.
• Kippah , or yarmulke: A kippah (KEEP-ah) or head covering (called a yarmulke in Yiddish), is traditionally worn by males during the service and also by women in more liberal synagogues. Wearing a kippah is not a symbol of religious identification like the tallit, but is rather an act of respect to God and the sacredness of the worship space. Just as men and women may be asked to remove their hats in the church, or remove their shoes before entering a mosque, wearing a head covering is a non-denominational act of showing respect. In some synagogues, women may wear hats or a lace head covering. Most synagogues have a basket of kippahs (also called kippot) at the entry to the sanctuary, and bar mitzvah hosts often provide custom-made ones that you can keep as a memento.

Generally a check in the amount of $36 (double Chai) is a nice gift (or a multiple of Chai – $18), depending on how close the friendship. Some families offer checks, tributes, donations, or purchase presents, again depending on whether it is a relative or friend, closeness of the two families, or how many people are attending from your family. Religious items, such as menorahs are also nice gifts. In addition, the following list are suggestions of appropriate gifts for a Bar Mitzvah:

Personalized Picture Frames

Themed Bookends

Engraved Music/ Jewelry Box

U.S. Savings Bonds

Israeli Savings Bonds

Engraved Jewelry or Watch

Monogrammed pocketbook or wallet

We look forward to seeing all guests at 1 p.m. at The Hyatt Regency in Valencia for a fun celebration and luncheon. We will provide transportation for children or anyone who would like to ride along. Please plan to pick up your child at 5 p.m. at the Hyatt after the reception. They should be ready to eat, drink and dance!

We will have a wide range of dining selections at the buffet style luncheon. Dietary restrictions, such as gluten free and vegetarian options, will be made available.